Sunday, September 26, 2010

The way people see things

Since starting our adoption process, I have come across so many different views about adoption, or special needs adoption. I try really hard not to take things personal, but I do.

When we first started out adopting a child with special needs, I thought it was a wonderful thing, and was so proud to tell people.  I thought everyone else would think the same. Boy, was I wrong.

I had no idea how many people are prejudice. Maybe some people are just "looking out for us" whatever they want to call it, I see it all as the same. What happened to the saying, " If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all".  I have heard just about everything, quite a few people have asked if we really know what we are getting into, or that this IS a lifetime commitment, and then there are those people who have told me all the horror stories of people who have special needs children. Someone even said to me the other day, that they hope it works out for us, because they have heard bad things about people who have adopted internationally. Seriously!? I mean, couldn't they have just said, I'll be praying for you. I mean, we've already stated what we are doing, and just because Priscilla is not born to us, doesn't make her any less our child.

We DO know it is a lifetime commitment. We also believe parenting is a lifetime commitment. Yes, maybe it is a little different, because Priscilla may never be able to leave home. But, we are completely committed to ALL of our children. Even if they live with us their whole life.

Do we think it will be hard? Yes, but it is completely worth it. Without us, Priscilla has no hope of truly "living". Without us, she has no hope of knowing what love is. Without us, she might not ever know who Jesus is. We are committed.

As I am writing this, I realize I just don't really care what people think anymore. What I care is how will she be treated her whole life. Will people love her for who she really is? Will they take the time to get to know her, or will they be too afraid? Will they just judge her because of the way she looks?  Will people feel sorry for her and pity her? I hope not, I hope that they will just treat her like they would any other person.


  1. You know, those closest to you will come to love her for who she is...she will win her way into their hearts. Those on the outside may never understand, and that's okay. You are living your faith in a way that will show people God's heart for the afflicted, and that's one of the greatest things we can like He did. Hang in there. This is not an easy journey, but it is an amazing blessing. These precious ones have more to give and teach us than we can even fathom from our temporal perspective. One day, when we can truly "see," we will be astounded at God's ways!

  2. You go girl!!! Thanks for saying what needed to be said. Jesus told us that the world would not accept us, just as they did not accept him. It just means you are on the right path :)

  3. I was just catching up on a few of your posts and I'm glad to hear your homevisit went well and that your mom is so supportive and excited to adopt Priscilla....what a blessing! Our parents were not supportive and it is very sad that they can not share the blessing of adoption with us, but I pray that God will work in their hearts with time.
    We faced so much "concern" from family and when we began fundraising it was discouraging to see the coldness of some hearts...
    but God is faithful and he moves who He wants to...and He has touched many hearts through our adoption who helped to bring our Lily (Lacie) and Joshua (Taras) home. So ...
    "don't grow weary in doing good for at the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up" We're the family from Above Rubies and we were so blessed to hear of your adoption....and you never know who God might lead to adopt because of what you are now doing! It helped me to remember that God had worked in our hearts to love and welcome in these special orphans....but not in the other people around us(yet!)
    love, the Adamsons

  4. i don't understand it either. we've gotten a lot of the same things but for other reasons. i'm sorry that you've gotten so much of that. press on sister (as i know y'all are). your Father knows your heart and it's His delight that we value. the woods have this scripture in their bathroom colossians 3:23-24 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." I know y'all are!