This has been my question all day, and this is why...
My first fundraiser is a yard sale/ bake sale. We sent out an email to all of our friends and family to collect stuff for our yard sale. I am so amazed at people giving, even people I haven't seen or talked to in 5 years are giving.
We have been just collecting it in our garage, but we will have the sale in our old church parking lot. So, anyway the last few days, I have been sorting and pricing everything. A few people have come over to help with it, which is completely necessary, because...
...This thing is HUGE!!!
Our garage is sooo full, and things have crept into our house. I should be praising God for the abundance of things. But, I haven't been. I have only been complaining about how much stuff we have, how dirty our house is, and how in the world am I going to get everything done before the yard sale day. Not to mention, how will I find time to just be with my children.
This morning, when I woke up, there was this awful smell in the house. So, I emptied the trash, cleaned the garbage disposal, cleaned the cat box, spilled the cat litter, made a huge mess in the bathtub, discovered the bathtub drain was clogged. And then when I went to vacuum up the cat litter, the vacuum wasn't working very well, because, it too, was clogged. So, then I laid on the floor like a 2 year old and just cried.
My day, did get better, but was still probably one of the worst days I have had. I didn't do anything else, except play with the kids. A much needed rest from all the craziness my life has turned into. At one point today, I even laid on the floor and looked up at the ceiling, and forgot how messy my house was. We didn't even get out of our pajamas today.
So, today, I have been wondering whether this is really a good idea to adopt a child. I mean, as people say, this is for life! If I can't even handle the stress I am going through now, how in the world will I handle the stress of adding another child, one with a special need, even.
All day, I thought of this. Becoming even more depressed as the day went, just thinking about how, I must be making a mistake. And maybe I didn't even hear God in the first place, maybe we are just doing it, because it sounds like the right thing to do. Maybe I am just going crazy, and I wouldn't be able to handle another child anyway.
Then, I actually prayed about it, instead of just thinking about it. My answer from God was so clear and simple. His answer was, whether I have another baby or adopt one, it will be the same.
We are not done having children, so whether we have a child born to us or adopt one, we will still be adding another child to our family.
So, I will just hold onto that hope, and know this is what God wants, even when life becomes overwhelming, or when I think I am losing it, or when the kids are screaming at each other, or when we are driving from one place to another, or when life doesn't slow down.
I will start to see the joy in having a full garage. And start praising instead of complaining.
Bad days happen, whether you have one child or ten ;-) And sometimes you think adding a new child is pure madness. As a mother of four, I definitely know the feeling. "Why am I having another one when it is sooo much work with one/two/three, am I being irresponsible here?"ReplyDelete
But it has never been as tough as I thought. People (and, I have to say, especially mothers!) are remarkably resilient and flexible. What you thought was going to be hard, will after a short period of transition become the norm. I am confident it will happen to you, too, and Priscilla will be a natural part of your family!
Also, I was sooo happy to see Maria's picture moved to the "My family found me"-page. No doubt she will be a blessing to her family, too- as will Sasha :)
Crystal, I think your doubts and fears are so normal, but I believe that you are being attacked. I find myself asking, "am I really prepared to deal with Sasha's needs?" or "How could God have chosen us for this?" But the reality is that, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me!" And so can you!!!ReplyDelete
PS Let me know how the yard sale goes. We are having one on the 16th. We will be praying for you :)
thank you Jesus that we can hear your voice!ReplyDelete
John 15: 1"I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.ReplyDelete
2"Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit.
3"You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.
4"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.
5"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.
6"If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned.
7"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
8"My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples.
9"Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.
10"If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love.
11"These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.
12"This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.
13"GREATER LOVE HAS NO ONE THAN THIS, THAT ONE LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR HIS FRIENDS".
14"You are My friends if you do what I command you."
You are laying down your life for Priscilla-there is no greater love than this.
I can tell you from personal experience that God is not telling you to stop, but there is an enemy who is very threatened by ewvery orphan that is adopting and will do EVERYTHING to stop adoptions from happening. We faced attack after attack - but I knew that I knew that this little girl was meant to be ours, and as of 10/12/10 - she is! It's all about persevering and overcoming. You CAN do this :)ReplyDelete