This has been my question all day, and this is why...
My first fundraiser is a yard sale/ bake sale. We sent out an email to all of our friends and family to collect stuff for our yard sale. I am so amazed at people giving, even people I haven't seen or talked to in 5 years are giving.
We have been just collecting it in our garage, but we will have the sale in our old church parking lot. So, anyway the last few days, I have been sorting and pricing everything. A few people have come over to help with it, which is completely necessary, because...
...This thing is HUGE!!!
Our garage is sooo full, and things have crept into our house. I should be praising God for the abundance of things. But, I haven't been. I have only been complaining about how much stuff we have, how dirty our house is, and how in the world am I going to get everything done before the yard sale day. Not to mention, how will I find time to just be with my children.
This morning, when I woke up, there was this awful smell in the house. So, I emptied the trash, cleaned the garbage disposal, cleaned the cat box, spilled the cat litter, made a huge mess in the bathtub, discovered the bathtub drain was clogged. And then when I went to vacuum up the cat litter, the vacuum wasn't working very well, because, it too, was clogged. So, then I laid on the floor like a 2 year old and just cried.
My day, did get better, but was still probably one of the worst days I have had. I didn't do anything else, except play with the kids. A much needed rest from all the craziness my life has turned into. At one point today, I even laid on the floor and looked up at the ceiling, and forgot how messy my house was. We didn't even get out of our pajamas today.
So, today, I have been wondering whether this is really a good idea to adopt a child. I mean, as people say, this is for life! If I can't even handle the stress I am going through now, how in the world will I handle the stress of adding another child, one with a special need, even.
All day, I thought of this. Becoming even more depressed as the day went, just thinking about how, I must be making a mistake. And maybe I didn't even hear God in the first place, maybe we are just doing it, because it sounds like the right thing to do. Maybe I am just going crazy, and I wouldn't be able to handle another child anyway.
Then, I actually prayed about it, instead of just thinking about it. My answer from God was so clear and simple. His answer was, whether I have another baby or adopt one, it will be the same.
We are not done having children, so whether we have a child born to us or adopt one, we will still be adding another child to our family.
So, I will just hold onto that hope, and know this is what God wants, even when life becomes overwhelming, or when I think I am losing it, or when the kids are screaming at each other, or when we are driving from one place to another, or when life doesn't slow down.
I will start to see the joy in having a full garage. And start praising instead of complaining.