Why not? Ok, just kidding, I just couldn't think of a better title.
Yesterday, I tried to take my mind off of the stress with everything going on, so I found this cool blog, and made this tissue box cover. Well, it didn't really help me take my mind off the stress, but at least I got a cute tissue box cover out of it.
I woke up this morning with Priscilla on my mind. So, I got out this little dress that my friend, Judy gave to us for our little girl. It even has a cute matching baby doll outfit. I want her to wear it for her 2nd birthday. Please, oh please come home by your second birthday.
Today has been so hard. I'm not sure what is going on right now. I will go re-mail the documents. All is not lost in that, I think. My heart is just really torn up. I tried to go shopping tonight, to see if it would help get my mind off our little girl, it didn't. Everywhere I turned, I thought of her.
I feel like I am pregnant and the doctor just told me they aren't sure how my pregnancy will end, they aren't sure if the baby will make it. And even if the baby does make it, I could be very overdue. I may never see her beautiful little face or hold her hand or look into her eyes. I love her beyond any words could ever say. I don't know how this has happened, when all I have of her is a picture. I just know it happened.
Unless God says in a huge audible voice to stop, we will keep trudging along, we aren't giving up. I don't think I can give up. But, in all honesty, I don't want to do this anymore. I just want my life back. There, I said it. Now, isn't that selfish of me.
I don't even want to go to bed tonight, because then I will just have to wake up tomorrow. Ok, I'm not depressed, just sad.