I wanted to write something, just to say "I'm still here". But, I cannot write in detail what has happened this week.
I would just like to ask for prayer. We have come up against a lot of opposition this week. We have one document that is needed for our dossier, but are unable to find somebody to sign it.
So, please, please pray. Right now, I am unsure whether we will be able to adopt. And I am having a really hard time with it. I have not been able to do much, just thinking about losing our little girl. She needs a mommy and daddy.
We will definitely not be able to submit this year.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Does she resemble Malika?
This is a picture of Malika. It is hanging on our wall, and I noticed, it looks a little like Priscilla. What do you think? It would be so neat if she looked like us.
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Where we are
So many people have asked lately where we are in the process of adopting, and when we will be getting Priscilla.
I am not completely sure, but I will do my best to tell you what I know.
Friday, we will be done with our home study.
Right now, we are waiting on getting a fingerprint appointment with USCIS (US citizenship and immigration).
We will have to send a copy of our home study to USCIS and wait approval.
We are almost done with our dossier (this is all the paperwork we will send to Eastern Europe), but we can do nothing with this until we receive approval from USCIS.
As of right now, I am unsure whether we will submit this year or next year. I have been working very hard to get everything in place to submit this year. We still have a chance, but it is looking slimmer everyday. After friday, it all depends on how fast USCIS gets things done.
Priscilla's country will only be accepting dossiers until December 1, then they will take a break until February sometime, I won't know the date for sure until December.
If we are to submit now, we have to have everything mailed over to EE by the middle of November, and hope they will get everything translated and submitted in time.
From what I understand, if we submit this year (which would be close to December 1st), we would not travel to get Priscilla until January or February. If we are unable to submit until next year, we should travel sometime in April (of course, this is just a guess, we won't know for sure until closer to time).
My hope the whole time has been to get her before her 2nd birthday. So, if we are unable to go until
April, we would still be able to bring her home by her birthday. I would love it so much if we were able to get her earlier, but I can do nothing else at this point except wait.
Hope this makes sense to everyone. If you have any questions, just leave it in the comments and I will try to answer them.
I am not completely sure, but I will do my best to tell you what I know.
Friday, we will be done with our home study.
Right now, we are waiting on getting a fingerprint appointment with USCIS (US citizenship and immigration).
We will have to send a copy of our home study to USCIS and wait approval.
We are almost done with our dossier (this is all the paperwork we will send to Eastern Europe), but we can do nothing with this until we receive approval from USCIS.
As of right now, I am unsure whether we will submit this year or next year. I have been working very hard to get everything in place to submit this year. We still have a chance, but it is looking slimmer everyday. After friday, it all depends on how fast USCIS gets things done.
Priscilla's country will only be accepting dossiers until December 1, then they will take a break until February sometime, I won't know the date for sure until December.
If we are to submit now, we have to have everything mailed over to EE by the middle of November, and hope they will get everything translated and submitted in time.
From what I understand, if we submit this year (which would be close to December 1st), we would not travel to get Priscilla until January or February. If we are unable to submit until next year, we should travel sometime in April (of course, this is just a guess, we won't know for sure until closer to time).
My hope the whole time has been to get her before her 2nd birthday. So, if we are unable to go until
April, we would still be able to bring her home by her birthday. I would love it so much if we were able to get her earlier, but I can do nothing else at this point except wait.
Hope this makes sense to everyone. If you have any questions, just leave it in the comments and I will try to answer them.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Post-institutionalized
I am going to attempt to write about something that I don't have any personal experience with. I have only read about it. Most of what I have read comes from Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections by Jean McLeod and Sheena Macrae, this is the huge textbook we were required to read for our home study. At first, I did not want to read it, if you saw it, you would understand. It is 503 pages long! Anyway, I did read it, and I am sooo glad that I did, it has been a huge source of information on adoption. I highly recommend it, don't be turned off by the size, though, because you can skip around, or just read what pertains to you.
Anyway, maybe you are wondering what it is I wanted to write about. It wasn't the book, if that is what you are thinking. I want to write about post-institutionalized children, and Post Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADs), yes it is real!
Like I said, I don't write this from personal experience and I am not an expert on it, so if you do not agree with me, please say so.
I have several reasons for wanting to write on this. First, it seems so many parents adopt and then realize they have gotten in over their heads. They just didn't understand the magnitude of problems children have from living in an orphanage. Or they are not willing to work it out. A friend told me tonight that she knows of a family who adopted a 6 year old earlier this year, and are now looking for someone else to adopt him. I do not know this family and cannot assume things about them, but it is just so sad. Sad for all involved, sad that the parents thought they were getting a child that would be so grateful to have a home, to find out that he isn't, and that he has problems too big for them to handle. Sad that the child is once again being rejected. This isn't the first time this has happened, remember the story of the little boy being sent on a plane back to Russia?
Another reason to write about it is, another family who recently adopted wrote a post and said it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows and she wasn't sure if she should write the truth, because others come back and they have such rosy things to write about. I hope that she does not feel alone, because that would be the worst thing to happen. For everyone to be following along your journey, even donating, and praying, and then you bring your children back, and it is HARD! Not at all what you expected. Your children don't want anything to do with you. One minute they want you to hold them, the next they are screaming and spitting at you. Or maybe they are just super clingy and won't let you do anything else, but hold them. And then, having to live all of this silently? That is just too much to ask of someone.
I hope that, when we bring Priscilla home, that our friends and family will surround us and be there for us. EVEN if we say we don't know what we are doing, and this is way harder than we expected.
Before reading the book I mentioned, I really thought that it would be dreamy to adopt. That we would become mommy and daddy to a child that didn't have one. I thought she would fit into our family so well. Really, I didn't think she would be any different than our other children. Then I started to read other blogs, and got scared, because some of their children didn't even know how to play. My whole fantasy came crashing to the ground, but it is a good thing that it did.
I did not even think about her loss. And her grief. Yes, she will be getting a family, but she already had a family. And I will be taking her away from the only home she ever knew. Even if it isn't the best home, it is a home.
For every 6 months in an orphanage, a child will be delayed 3 months. And this is for typical children. When we adopt, I think we expect them to love us, we love them, afterall. We have even been praying and looking at their picture for months. But, they have never been taught to love. They don't know what a mommy and daddy are. Except for the many caretakers they had. Will we be like that? Will they think that any friends or family that come over will be the next person to care for them? We took them away from the people, and the smells and the sounds they knew, will someone else come take them away again?
They have no idea how to attach. Because it is a learned thing. Maybe that is why there are books on attachment parenting. When parenting a child who has been in an institution you have to parent completely different. "A securely attached biological child who hasn't been abandoned by a birth parent, would never believe that his mother would ever permanently leave him, for any reason. And primal loss will always be a deep, dark possibility for our internationally adopted children, because the unthinkable did happen to them." -Jean Macleod
Children in an orphanage won't have continual interaction, sometimes they pick up bad habits, just to entertain or comfort themselves. There could be numerous habits, such as rocking, head banging, picking at themselves. They also have to defend themselves from other children and maybe even sometimes caregivers (hopefully not:(. Some habits from that could be hitting, biting, kicking, spitting. They are forced to eat quickly, and even young babies have to learn to feed themselves or not eat. Some children may even be looked over, so they don't get enough to eat. They may have many eating issues because of that.
And don't even think that by adopting an older child, you would be by-passing the waking in the middle of the night. I've always thought children in orphanages would be great sleepers, not sure why I thought that. But, they are still children, they have more issues and fears than most children. They may wake often and cry out in the night. They have learned that no one will come to their aid at night, and that may cause even more fears. Children who are adopted should not be left to cry at night. The ultimate goal is to build attachment with your child, and you cannot do that if you are not meeting every need that they have, even if it is not one they even know is a need. Like getting hurt, they may not come to you for comfort, because it was never something that was done, so they don't know it is a need, but it is.
I could go on and on, of issues that post institutionalized children will have, but I will let the experts do that. :)
Now, something else I learned was Post Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADs). It is much like the baby blues. One reason for it, is that you put all your thoughts and time into the adoption, that the actual child and life were forgotten. And when you spend so much time building trust with the adopted child, you become worn out and stressed. Just as with post-partum depression, it is best to enlist help.
Anyway, maybe you are wondering what it is I wanted to write about. It wasn't the book, if that is what you are thinking. I want to write about post-institutionalized children, and Post Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADs), yes it is real!
Like I said, I don't write this from personal experience and I am not an expert on it, so if you do not agree with me, please say so.
I have several reasons for wanting to write on this. First, it seems so many parents adopt and then realize they have gotten in over their heads. They just didn't understand the magnitude of problems children have from living in an orphanage. Or they are not willing to work it out. A friend told me tonight that she knows of a family who adopted a 6 year old earlier this year, and are now looking for someone else to adopt him. I do not know this family and cannot assume things about them, but it is just so sad. Sad for all involved, sad that the parents thought they were getting a child that would be so grateful to have a home, to find out that he isn't, and that he has problems too big for them to handle. Sad that the child is once again being rejected. This isn't the first time this has happened, remember the story of the little boy being sent on a plane back to Russia?
Another reason to write about it is, another family who recently adopted wrote a post and said it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows and she wasn't sure if she should write the truth, because others come back and they have such rosy things to write about. I hope that she does not feel alone, because that would be the worst thing to happen. For everyone to be following along your journey, even donating, and praying, and then you bring your children back, and it is HARD! Not at all what you expected. Your children don't want anything to do with you. One minute they want you to hold them, the next they are screaming and spitting at you. Or maybe they are just super clingy and won't let you do anything else, but hold them. And then, having to live all of this silently? That is just too much to ask of someone.
I hope that, when we bring Priscilla home, that our friends and family will surround us and be there for us. EVEN if we say we don't know what we are doing, and this is way harder than we expected.
Before reading the book I mentioned, I really thought that it would be dreamy to adopt. That we would become mommy and daddy to a child that didn't have one. I thought she would fit into our family so well. Really, I didn't think she would be any different than our other children. Then I started to read other blogs, and got scared, because some of their children didn't even know how to play. My whole fantasy came crashing to the ground, but it is a good thing that it did.
I did not even think about her loss. And her grief. Yes, she will be getting a family, but she already had a family. And I will be taking her away from the only home she ever knew. Even if it isn't the best home, it is a home.
For every 6 months in an orphanage, a child will be delayed 3 months. And this is for typical children. When we adopt, I think we expect them to love us, we love them, afterall. We have even been praying and looking at their picture for months. But, they have never been taught to love. They don't know what a mommy and daddy are. Except for the many caretakers they had. Will we be like that? Will they think that any friends or family that come over will be the next person to care for them? We took them away from the people, and the smells and the sounds they knew, will someone else come take them away again?
They have no idea how to attach. Because it is a learned thing. Maybe that is why there are books on attachment parenting. When parenting a child who has been in an institution you have to parent completely different. "A securely attached biological child who hasn't been abandoned by a birth parent, would never believe that his mother would ever permanently leave him, for any reason. And primal loss will always be a deep, dark possibility for our internationally adopted children, because the unthinkable did happen to them." -Jean Macleod
Children in an orphanage won't have continual interaction, sometimes they pick up bad habits, just to entertain or comfort themselves. There could be numerous habits, such as rocking, head banging, picking at themselves. They also have to defend themselves from other children and maybe even sometimes caregivers (hopefully not:(. Some habits from that could be hitting, biting, kicking, spitting. They are forced to eat quickly, and even young babies have to learn to feed themselves or not eat. Some children may even be looked over, so they don't get enough to eat. They may have many eating issues because of that.
And don't even think that by adopting an older child, you would be by-passing the waking in the middle of the night. I've always thought children in orphanages would be great sleepers, not sure why I thought that. But, they are still children, they have more issues and fears than most children. They may wake often and cry out in the night. They have learned that no one will come to their aid at night, and that may cause even more fears. Children who are adopted should not be left to cry at night. The ultimate goal is to build attachment with your child, and you cannot do that if you are not meeting every need that they have, even if it is not one they even know is a need. Like getting hurt, they may not come to you for comfort, because it was never something that was done, so they don't know it is a need, but it is.
I could go on and on, of issues that post institutionalized children will have, but I will let the experts do that. :)
Now, something else I learned was Post Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADs). It is much like the baby blues. One reason for it, is that you put all your thoughts and time into the adoption, that the actual child and life were forgotten. And when you spend so much time building trust with the adopted child, you become worn out and stressed. Just as with post-partum depression, it is best to enlist help.
I don't write this to scare anyone away from adopting, only to inform. I hope that this will make people all the more inclined to adopt and love the correct way for that particular child. I hope this will make someone want to adopt a child and show them what love really is. And to teach them that even though their situation was hopeless, that they themselves are not hopeless.
It may not go this way for all children, we are hoping and praying that Priscilla will have a wonderful caregiver who truly loves her and that she will not have to go through these many issues. But, if she does, we will be ready. And we are in this for the long haul. You won't be seeing my baby on an airplane back to her birth country :)
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Pray for the Cornish's
Please pray for this family. They will be leaving in 4 days to go and adopt their little boy and hopefully Aleksa, whom they were unable to adopt 2 1/2 years ago. Please pray that the orphanage director would truly believe they want and love Aleksa.
Meredith will have a chance to speak to the Embassy in Eastern Europe about Down Syndrome and how we raise children with special needs.
You can read their blog here.
Meredith will have a chance to speak to the Embassy in Eastern Europe about Down Syndrome and how we raise children with special needs.
You can read their blog here.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
little girl
I had a dream the other night, about a little girl. She was about 4 years old. She was all alone, nobody wanted to be around her. There were people in another room hanging out and enjoying life, but she was in a room all by herself. I went in to see her, at first she didn't want anything to do with me, then she warmed up to me. I knew there was something different about her, she couldn't walk, looked very normal, but clearly was behind emotionally and physically. When I left her, she cried.
The next morning, I couldn't get her out of my head. I was thinking maybe she was a real girl, so I went on Reeces Rainbow to look for her. I knew she didn't have Down Syndrome, so I looked on the "other angels" listing. I didn't see anyone who made me think of her. Not sure why I had the dream.
But, I fell in love with this little girl, she reminds me so much of Malika. I think it is the short hair and the crossed eye. Isn't she beautiful.
The next morning, I couldn't get her out of my head. I was thinking maybe she was a real girl, so I went on Reeces Rainbow to look for her. I knew she didn't have Down Syndrome, so I looked on the "other angels" listing. I didn't see anyone who made me think of her. Not sure why I had the dream.
But, I fell in love with this little girl, she reminds me so much of Malika. I think it is the short hair and the crossed eye. Isn't she beautiful.
I asked about adopting her too, but she is in a different region than Priscilla. They said it would be very costly to adopt two children from different regions. If it were only the money, I wouldn't even care, but it would be time consuming too.
I actually fell in love with many of the children, crying after reading about them. One little girl in particular, reminded me of my little friend Lauren, she has arthrogryposis. I cried when I read about her, because it said she was typically developing cognitively, and the only thing affected was her body. Can you imagine, being a prisoner in your own body? It doesn't seem so bad if you have a family to love you. I so wish we had a huge house, I think I would take many of the children.
I want this little girl so bad, maybe we will go back for her. This process is so hard, I have said when we are done, I don't want to do it again, but after seeing this sweet little girl, I would.
Her name is Lynne, you can read about her here, she is about 1/4 way down the page.
I hope she will have a mommy and daddy soon.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
More alike than different
This is an awesome video. It has brought tears to my eyes. I knew that people with Down Syndrome were capable of living independent lives and that they were the same as us, but that they just learn slower. But, this has made it more real.
Next time you see someone with Down Syndrome, treat them with respect and don't look at them as though they are different. Just treat them as you would anyone else.
Today, my friend, Judy had a yard sale and donated half of the money she got from it to us. And we had another bake sale at the yard sale. We made close to $300. I am so excited, because we have raised almost $9000. I was hoping for $10,000 by December. It looks like we will make it. Yay!
Judy gave me two cute little dresses for our little girl. I cried when she gave me the first dress. It is a beautiful pink toile dress with a matching baby doll outfit. I cried because my first thought was that she could wear it for her 2nd birthday. And we wanted to get her a baby doll for her birthday. ( I know it is so early to be planning that far in advance, but I just can't help thinking about it). The second dress is so beautiful too. It is a purple velvety dress with matching tights. I am going to use it as her gotcha day dress. I will post pictures of it, after I find a matching bow. For those that don't know, Gotcha day is the day that they are ALL YOURS to take home. I can't wait.
We also went to the Buddy Walk. It is an organization that brings awareness about Down Syndrome. They raise money to give out new parent packet to new mothers of children with Down Syndrome. How awesome is that!
We met a wonderful family at the walk. We were walking next to them and started talking to them, and then ended up eating lunch near them. They have 4 children, their 2 1/2 year old was born with many disabilities. The Doctors told them he would probably be paralyzed and blind, but he isn't! He is in a wheelchair, and is learning to wheel it on his own. They gave all the credit to God. I keep meeting all these wonderful families who have children with special needs. The amazing thing is that most of them are Christians.
Today has been a wonderful day, but a little sad too. I have been watching Justus walk and play and realize that Priscilla is the same age as Justus, and I am missing out on this time in her life. Oh how I wish we could get things going faster. Please pray with us that if it is the Lord's will to get her sooner, everything would fall into place.
Next time you see someone with Down Syndrome, treat them with respect and don't look at them as though they are different. Just treat them as you would anyone else.
Today, my friend, Judy had a yard sale and donated half of the money she got from it to us. And we had another bake sale at the yard sale. We made close to $300. I am so excited, because we have raised almost $9000. I was hoping for $10,000 by December. It looks like we will make it. Yay!
Judy gave me two cute little dresses for our little girl. I cried when she gave me the first dress. It is a beautiful pink toile dress with a matching baby doll outfit. I cried because my first thought was that she could wear it for her 2nd birthday. And we wanted to get her a baby doll for her birthday. ( I know it is so early to be planning that far in advance, but I just can't help thinking about it). The second dress is so beautiful too. It is a purple velvety dress with matching tights. I am going to use it as her gotcha day dress. I will post pictures of it, after I find a matching bow. For those that don't know, Gotcha day is the day that they are ALL YOURS to take home. I can't wait.
We also went to the Buddy Walk. It is an organization that brings awareness about Down Syndrome. They raise money to give out new parent packet to new mothers of children with Down Syndrome. How awesome is that!
We met a wonderful family at the walk. We were walking next to them and started talking to them, and then ended up eating lunch near them. They have 4 children, their 2 1/2 year old was born with many disabilities. The Doctors told them he would probably be paralyzed and blind, but he isn't! He is in a wheelchair, and is learning to wheel it on his own. They gave all the credit to God. I keep meeting all these wonderful families who have children with special needs. The amazing thing is that most of them are Christians.
Today has been a wonderful day, but a little sad too. I have been watching Justus walk and play and realize that Priscilla is the same age as Justus, and I am missing out on this time in her life. Oh how I wish we could get things going faster. Please pray with us that if it is the Lord's will to get her sooner, everything would fall into place.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Our Yard Sale
We had our HUGE yard sale/ bake sale this weekend. I have to say it was a huge success! We ended up making $1670! I am so excited we did so well.
We put so much work into it. I have literally been busy every minute of the day for the last two weeks. We sorted and priced things, made signs, emailed people about the bake sale, emailed about getting yard sale stuff, picked up yard sale stuff, cried because I was so stressed, baked things for the yard sale, set it all up, and then took it all down. It was so much work, but I had the most wonderful people come and help me. It is times like this that I know without a doubt that I am loved.
So, thank you to all of my wonderful friends and family for giving of your time and stopping your lives to help me out. Thank you to my friends who are moms that stopped everything and brought your kids to come and help. A special thanks to Dee, who came not once, but twice this week, with all her children to help me. And thank you Mary, Linda and Becky, without you guys, I really could not have done it. You have been wonderful. They stayed up most of the night friday, setting up, and then got up early the next morning to finish. And thank you to my mom and dad and my brother, Nick. Thank you for loving our little girl that you haven't even met, that you would give so much to help us. I found out later, that Nick loaded, and unloaded the van, not once, but twice, to take things to the thrift store after our yard sale. And I can't forget my wonderful husband, and our friend Keith, they both stayed up all night friday, watching the yard sale stuff.
I could go on and on. So, if I did not list your name, don't think I didn't notice your hard work. I did.
I really enjoyed the bake sale part of our yard sale, since eating is one of my favorite things to do. :) I'm not sure how much money was from that part, but I think a good portion came from the bake sale. Thank you to everyone who baked. Everything looked so wonderful. We had a table of about 10 feet, FULL of baked goods, and more to fill up later, and most of it sold! I really did not expect that. I thought most would be left.
Here are a few pictures. I wish I had taken more, but it was a very busy day.
We put so much work into it. I have literally been busy every minute of the day for the last two weeks. We sorted and priced things, made signs, emailed people about the bake sale, emailed about getting yard sale stuff, picked up yard sale stuff, cried because I was so stressed, baked things for the yard sale, set it all up, and then took it all down. It was so much work, but I had the most wonderful people come and help me. It is times like this that I know without a doubt that I am loved.
So, thank you to all of my wonderful friends and family for giving of your time and stopping your lives to help me out. Thank you to my friends who are moms that stopped everything and brought your kids to come and help. A special thanks to Dee, who came not once, but twice this week, with all her children to help me. And thank you Mary, Linda and Becky, without you guys, I really could not have done it. You have been wonderful. They stayed up most of the night friday, setting up, and then got up early the next morning to finish. And thank you to my mom and dad and my brother, Nick. Thank you for loving our little girl that you haven't even met, that you would give so much to help us. I found out later, that Nick loaded, and unloaded the van, not once, but twice, to take things to the thrift store after our yard sale. And I can't forget my wonderful husband, and our friend Keith, they both stayed up all night friday, watching the yard sale stuff.
I could go on and on. So, if I did not list your name, don't think I didn't notice your hard work. I did.
I really enjoyed the bake sale part of our yard sale, since eating is one of my favorite things to do. :) I'm not sure how much money was from that part, but I think a good portion came from the bake sale. Thank you to everyone who baked. Everything looked so wonderful. We had a table of about 10 feet, FULL of baked goods, and more to fill up later, and most of it sold! I really did not expect that. I thought most would be left.
Here are a few pictures. I wish I had taken more, but it was a very busy day.
I can't believe all that stuff was in our garage. There was more on both sides, too, I just couldn't fit it all in one picture.
Here is a picture of me with the two girls I was a nanny for. I love them so much. I think of them as my own.
Lauren was so wonderful, she passed out flyers and greeted everyone.
I think this one might embarrass Hannah :), but I love it, she's so cute, and it really shows her personality. She was in charge of the bake sale. Everyone commented on how grown up she was. Can you believe she is only 11?
Some of our yummy looking baked goods.
Look at all that money! This is my dad, he was in charge of taking all the money, he's a great sales man too, he actually got people to donate even more money.
One more of Justus checking himself out in the mirror. He's so cute.
We are almost halfway to our goal of $25,000! Look at our fundraiser thermometer.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Like a child
I am just filled with such love for my sweet baby girl today. I look at her picture, and see such beauty in her eyes. Today, we had our huge yard sale ( pictures and update to come), on the way to the yard sale Malika said we were going to make money to bring her sister home. Then she said with such passion " she is going to be BEAUTIFUL". Oh the innocence of a child! I wish that I could protect all of my children from the many ugly words, stares and questions that are sure to come. If only people would see life as a little child does.
Jesus told us we needed to humble ourselves like a child, and if we didn't we would not enter the kingdom of heaven.(matthew 18:3). Children don't see color,race, or disabilities, they see the person that is before them. Why do adults see the imperfection before they see anything else?
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7
When I think of a child with down syndrome, I think "child". I don't think "disability". I have had so many people question my ability to care for a child with a special need. Not because I am not capable, but because they see a hard life before me. I don't see it that way. Sure, there will be hard days and hard moments. But, I see a life filled with love. I do not want to get to the end of my life and wish that I had traded in my "easy" life for one that was what God wanted. I want to give every ounce of energy, love, sweat and tears to be ALL that God wants, Now!
God never promised us an easy life, he didn't promise us a life without hardship, he didn't promise us a life filled with only happy days, just read the psalms. But, one thing we are promised is that God will walk right beside us every step of the way. I don't know about you, but it is the hard times in my life that draw me to the foot of the cross.
Jesus told us we needed to humble ourselves like a child, and if we didn't we would not enter the kingdom of heaven.(matthew 18:3). Children don't see color,race, or disabilities, they see the person that is before them. Why do adults see the imperfection before they see anything else?
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7
When I think of a child with down syndrome, I think "child". I don't think "disability". I have had so many people question my ability to care for a child with a special need. Not because I am not capable, but because they see a hard life before me. I don't see it that way. Sure, there will be hard days and hard moments. But, I see a life filled with love. I do not want to get to the end of my life and wish that I had traded in my "easy" life for one that was what God wanted. I want to give every ounce of energy, love, sweat and tears to be ALL that God wants, Now!
God never promised us an easy life, he didn't promise us a life without hardship, he didn't promise us a life filled with only happy days, just read the psalms. But, one thing we are promised is that God will walk right beside us every step of the way. I don't know about you, but it is the hard times in my life that draw me to the foot of the cross.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
What is Down Syndrome?
This month is Down Syndrome Awareness month, and there is a challenge for bloggers to blog something new about Down Syndrome every day of this month. The challenge is called 31 for 21. The 21 stands for Trisomy 21, people who have Down Syndrome have a third copy of chromosome 21, rather than 2.
I don't really have time to blog everyday, but I do think it is a very neat thing to do. So, I may blog some about it, or take excerpts from other blogs. I think we will all learn something from this.
The following is from this blog.
There are three types of Down syndrome: Trisomy 21, Translocation Ds and Mosaic Ds.
Trisomy 21 means the person diagnosed has three separate copies of chromosome 21 in every cell of their body.
Translocation Ds means the person diagnosed has three copies of chromosome 21 but the third copy of the 21st chromosome is attached to another chromosome instead of being separate.
Mosaic Down syndrome means there are three copies of the 21st chromosome is only some cell lines throughout the body and not in others. Some people with Mosaic Ds have the third copy only in the blood line and not in the skin, marrow, brain, etc., while other people may have the extra copy in the brain and bone lines and not in the blood, muscle, etc.
Down syndrome is nothing to be afraid of. It is simply a medical diagnosis with symptoms that may need attention like any other medical diagnosis. People who have been diagnosed with Down syndrome do not 'suffer' from it, they are just regular people living with a medical diagnosis and thriving through life with it.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Does God really want us to adopt?
This has been my question all day, and this is why...
My first fundraiser is a yard sale/ bake sale. We sent out an email to all of our friends and family to collect stuff for our yard sale. I am so amazed at people giving, even people I haven't seen or talked to in 5 years are giving.
We have been just collecting it in our garage, but we will have the sale in our old church parking lot. So, anyway the last few days, I have been sorting and pricing everything. A few people have come over to help with it, which is completely necessary, because...
...This thing is HUGE!!!
Our garage is sooo full, and things have crept into our house. I should be praising God for the abundance of things. But, I haven't been. I have only been complaining about how much stuff we have, how dirty our house is, and how in the world am I going to get everything done before the yard sale day. Not to mention, how will I find time to just be with my children.
This morning, when I woke up, there was this awful smell in the house. So, I emptied the trash, cleaned the garbage disposal, cleaned the cat box, spilled the cat litter, made a huge mess in the bathtub, discovered the bathtub drain was clogged. And then when I went to vacuum up the cat litter, the vacuum wasn't working very well, because, it too, was clogged. So, then I laid on the floor like a 2 year old and just cried.
My day, did get better, but was still probably one of the worst days I have had. I didn't do anything else, except play with the kids. A much needed rest from all the craziness my life has turned into. At one point today, I even laid on the floor and looked up at the ceiling, and forgot how messy my house was. We didn't even get out of our pajamas today.
So, today, I have been wondering whether this is really a good idea to adopt a child. I mean, as people say, this is for life! If I can't even handle the stress I am going through now, how in the world will I handle the stress of adding another child, one with a special need, even.
All day, I thought of this. Becoming even more depressed as the day went, just thinking about how, I must be making a mistake. And maybe I didn't even hear God in the first place, maybe we are just doing it, because it sounds like the right thing to do. Maybe I am just going crazy, and I wouldn't be able to handle another child anyway.
Then, I actually prayed about it, instead of just thinking about it. My answer from God was so clear and simple. His answer was, whether I have another baby or adopt one, it will be the same.
We are not done having children, so whether we have a child born to us or adopt one, we will still be adding another child to our family.
So, I will just hold onto that hope, and know this is what God wants, even when life becomes overwhelming, or when I think I am losing it, or when the kids are screaming at each other, or when we are driving from one place to another, or when life doesn't slow down.
I will start to see the joy in having a full garage. And start praising instead of complaining.
My first fundraiser is a yard sale/ bake sale. We sent out an email to all of our friends and family to collect stuff for our yard sale. I am so amazed at people giving, even people I haven't seen or talked to in 5 years are giving.
We have been just collecting it in our garage, but we will have the sale in our old church parking lot. So, anyway the last few days, I have been sorting and pricing everything. A few people have come over to help with it, which is completely necessary, because...
...This thing is HUGE!!!
Our garage is sooo full, and things have crept into our house. I should be praising God for the abundance of things. But, I haven't been. I have only been complaining about how much stuff we have, how dirty our house is, and how in the world am I going to get everything done before the yard sale day. Not to mention, how will I find time to just be with my children.
This morning, when I woke up, there was this awful smell in the house. So, I emptied the trash, cleaned the garbage disposal, cleaned the cat box, spilled the cat litter, made a huge mess in the bathtub, discovered the bathtub drain was clogged. And then when I went to vacuum up the cat litter, the vacuum wasn't working very well, because, it too, was clogged. So, then I laid on the floor like a 2 year old and just cried.
My day, did get better, but was still probably one of the worst days I have had. I didn't do anything else, except play with the kids. A much needed rest from all the craziness my life has turned into. At one point today, I even laid on the floor and looked up at the ceiling, and forgot how messy my house was. We didn't even get out of our pajamas today.
So, today, I have been wondering whether this is really a good idea to adopt a child. I mean, as people say, this is for life! If I can't even handle the stress I am going through now, how in the world will I handle the stress of adding another child, one with a special need, even.
All day, I thought of this. Becoming even more depressed as the day went, just thinking about how, I must be making a mistake. And maybe I didn't even hear God in the first place, maybe we are just doing it, because it sounds like the right thing to do. Maybe I am just going crazy, and I wouldn't be able to handle another child anyway.
Then, I actually prayed about it, instead of just thinking about it. My answer from God was so clear and simple. His answer was, whether I have another baby or adopt one, it will be the same.
We are not done having children, so whether we have a child born to us or adopt one, we will still be adding another child to our family.
So, I will just hold onto that hope, and know this is what God wants, even when life becomes overwhelming, or when I think I am losing it, or when the kids are screaming at each other, or when we are driving from one place to another, or when life doesn't slow down.
I will start to see the joy in having a full garage. And start praising instead of complaining.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sasha and Maria have families!
I am so excited, the two kids I posted on here, both have families that stepped forward this week to adopt them.
Just last week, our social worker asked if we wanted 1 or 2 children on our homestudy. We know for sure we are to adopt Priscilla, but I just could not get Sasha out of my head. He is in the same orphanage as Priscilla. I knew I could not go over and get Priscilla and leave him without thinking about him every single day of my life. I have been praying and praying that someone would come forward to adopt him.
You see, he had a family, but the mom got sick, and they were unable to adopt him. I know they must have been devastated to not bring home this sweet little boy that they already felt was theirs. From what I understand, they even decided they would still go through with the adoption, but while in Eastern Europe realized they needed to come back home and take care of their family.
So many people were praying and rooting for Sasha. His grant started growing. He needed a family badly, because he just turned 3, and would have only a year left before going to the mental institution.
But now, he will have a mommy and daddy. He will have 2 brothers. He will be loved and adored. You can read their blog for the full story.
I am so beyond happy that he is coming home. And the best part, his family only lives a couple hours away. So, our children can grow up together. I wonder if they already know each other and play with each other in the orphanage.
So, I found all this out a couple days ago, and then today, another surprise. The little girl I wrote a post about has a family. She is so sweet. I haven't had a chance to talk to her family yet, though.
Prayer changes things. I've been praying for both Sasha and Maria just about everyday for weeks.
Thank you, Jesus, that these two babies have homes.
Just last week, our social worker asked if we wanted 1 or 2 children on our homestudy. We know for sure we are to adopt Priscilla, but I just could not get Sasha out of my head. He is in the same orphanage as Priscilla. I knew I could not go over and get Priscilla and leave him without thinking about him every single day of my life. I have been praying and praying that someone would come forward to adopt him.
So many people were praying and rooting for Sasha. His grant started growing. He needed a family badly, because he just turned 3, and would have only a year left before going to the mental institution.
But now, he will have a mommy and daddy. He will have 2 brothers. He will be loved and adored. You can read their blog for the full story.
I am so beyond happy that he is coming home. And the best part, his family only lives a couple hours away. So, our children can grow up together. I wonder if they already know each other and play with each other in the orphanage.
So, I found all this out a couple days ago, and then today, another surprise. The little girl I wrote a post about has a family. She is so sweet. I haven't had a chance to talk to her family yet, though.Prayer changes things. I've been praying for both Sasha and Maria just about everyday for weeks.
Thank you, Jesus, that these two babies have homes.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
The way people see things
Since starting our adoption process, I have come across so many different views about adoption, or special needs adoption. I try really hard not to take things personal, but I do.
When we first started out adopting a child with special needs, I thought it was a wonderful thing, and was so proud to tell people. I thought everyone else would think the same. Boy, was I wrong.
I had no idea how many people are prejudice. Maybe some people are just "looking out for us" whatever they want to call it, I see it all as the same. What happened to the saying, " If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all". I have heard just about everything, quite a few people have asked if we really know what we are getting into, or that this IS a lifetime commitment, and then there are those people who have told me all the horror stories of people who have special needs children. Someone even said to me the other day, that they hope it works out for us, because they have heard bad things about people who have adopted internationally. Seriously!? I mean, couldn't they have just said, I'll be praying for you. I mean, we've already stated what we are doing, and just because Priscilla is not born to us, doesn't make her any less our child.
We DO know it is a lifetime commitment. We also believe parenting is a lifetime commitment. Yes, maybe it is a little different, because Priscilla may never be able to leave home. But, we are completely committed to ALL of our children. Even if they live with us their whole life.
Do we think it will be hard? Yes, but it is completely worth it. Without us, Priscilla has no hope of truly "living". Without us, she has no hope of knowing what love is. Without us, she might not ever know who Jesus is. We are committed.
As I am writing this, I realize I just don't really care what people think anymore. What I care is how will she be treated her whole life. Will people love her for who she really is? Will they take the time to get to know her, or will they be too afraid? Will they just judge her because of the way she looks? Will people feel sorry for her and pity her? I hope not, I hope that they will just treat her like they would any other person.
When we first started out adopting a child with special needs, I thought it was a wonderful thing, and was so proud to tell people. I thought everyone else would think the same. Boy, was I wrong.
I had no idea how many people are prejudice. Maybe some people are just "looking out for us" whatever they want to call it, I see it all as the same. What happened to the saying, " If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all". I have heard just about everything, quite a few people have asked if we really know what we are getting into, or that this IS a lifetime commitment, and then there are those people who have told me all the horror stories of people who have special needs children. Someone even said to me the other day, that they hope it works out for us, because they have heard bad things about people who have adopted internationally. Seriously!? I mean, couldn't they have just said, I'll be praying for you. I mean, we've already stated what we are doing, and just because Priscilla is not born to us, doesn't make her any less our child.
We DO know it is a lifetime commitment. We also believe parenting is a lifetime commitment. Yes, maybe it is a little different, because Priscilla may never be able to leave home. But, we are completely committed to ALL of our children. Even if they live with us their whole life.
Do we think it will be hard? Yes, but it is completely worth it. Without us, Priscilla has no hope of truly "living". Without us, she has no hope of knowing what love is. Without us, she might not ever know who Jesus is. We are committed.
As I am writing this, I realize I just don't really care what people think anymore. What I care is how will she be treated her whole life. Will people love her for who she really is? Will they take the time to get to know her, or will they be too afraid? Will they just judge her because of the way she looks? Will people feel sorry for her and pity her? I hope not, I hope that they will just treat her like they would any other person.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
slippers for orphans
My mom is doing this wonderful fundraiser for us. If you donate $10, she will crochet a pair of very cute slippers to send to an orphan in Priscilla's orphanage.
If you donate for the slippers, you will also get a chance to enter into a drawing to win several different prizes. click here to find out how to donate.
I am so excited about this fundraiser, because not only does it help us raise money, it will also provide the orphans with cute slippers. And the best thing is, my mom is doing this all on her own. It helps so much to have someone else take over part of the fundraising. We are just so swamped with stuff to do, so every little bit helps.
I can't wait to see them on their feet. Aren't they adorable?
I am so excited about this fundraiser, because not only does it help us raise money, it will also provide the orphans with cute slippers. And the best thing is, my mom is doing this all on her own. It helps so much to have someone else take over part of the fundraising. We are just so swamped with stuff to do, so every little bit helps.
I can't wait to see them on their feet. Aren't they adorable?
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Praise God! Adoptions still in progress
The vote is in, the adoption is still in progress. Actually, the vote to end all adoptions did not even go to vote! Praise God!!! Priscilla's country "postponed the hearing of the law for an unknown time". This is good news. Someone said last year it was the same thing.
I just want to jump up and down, scream, and cry all at the same time. Can you imagine what my neighbors would think if I did that outside?
Thank you, thank you Jesus! I am so, so beyond relieved. I was so afraid to even check to see what the vote was.
We are pushing on!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Our home tour
So, today was our home tour for the homestudy. Yesterday, we cleaned and organized and sorted. Josh worked so hard all day. I started out cleaning, and then Josh looked around and said it was too clean. So, I stopped. Well, with kids, too clean isn't really much of an issue, because they can undo that in 10 minutes.
So, anyway, the lady who does the home tour came today, and she stayed all of 5 minutes. Wow, not what I was expecting. She just asked me to show her around. She wanted to make sure there were smoke detectors and a fire extinguisher, good thing we already had those (thanks Dad, it's still the same fire extinguisher you got me about 8 years ago). She looked around and took note of how many bedrooms, square footage, where our adopted child would sleep, etc. She didn't even look in the garage or go in the backyard to admire my wonderful husbands hard work.
Hopefully, we are well on our way to finishing our homestudy, from what I understand, that is when the "real" work begins. We have another meeting this week, then one more after that, and we have to read a book and do online classes. After that, we only have to wait for our fingerprints to come back (if they haven't already), and this part will be done.
So, anyway, the lady who does the home tour came today, and she stayed all of 5 minutes. Wow, not what I was expecting. She just asked me to show her around. She wanted to make sure there were smoke detectors and a fire extinguisher, good thing we already had those (thanks Dad, it's still the same fire extinguisher you got me about 8 years ago). She looked around and took note of how many bedrooms, square footage, where our adopted child would sleep, etc. She didn't even look in the garage or go in the backyard to admire my wonderful husbands hard work.
Hopefully, we are well on our way to finishing our homestudy, from what I understand, that is when the "real" work begins. We have another meeting this week, then one more after that, and we have to read a book and do online classes. After that, we only have to wait for our fingerprints to come back (if they haven't already), and this part will be done.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
This made my day
I talked to my mom this morning. She and my dad went to visit my grandma and other relatives in PA.
Anyway, my mom has been telling everyone about our adoption, and asking people to donate to bring Priscilla home. She says she is even taking all the pictures of her grandchildren (including Priscilla) around for people to see.
It just really made my day to see her so excited to welcome a new little one in, and to even say she is her granddaughter before even meeting her. I think she loves her as much as I do. Makes me happy that my parents would accept a child that will not even be blood related. But, I know that they will love her and she would never feel less important than the children born to me. I am just so grateful to have the parents I have.
I love you Mom and Dad, thank you for this huge thing you are doing, it means the world to me.
Anyway, my mom has been telling everyone about our adoption, and asking people to donate to bring Priscilla home. She says she is even taking all the pictures of her grandchildren (including Priscilla) around for people to see.
It just really made my day to see her so excited to welcome a new little one in, and to even say she is her granddaughter before even meeting her. I think she loves her as much as I do. Makes me happy that my parents would accept a child that will not even be blood related. But, I know that they will love her and she would never feel less important than the children born to me. I am just so grateful to have the parents I have.
I love you Mom and Dad, thank you for this huge thing you are doing, it means the world to me.
Heart of adoption?
Today, we went to the store looking for a birthday gift for a friends little girl. While we were looking at the toys, Malika falls in love with a baby doll. I told her she could play with it while we were in the store getting our other things, but she would have to put it back when we were done.
It was one of those babies that cry, not my favorite, because it takes all the imagination out of playing. Malika loves it though. Anyway, this baby had a bottle that went with it, and usually it would cry until you put the bottle in it's mouth. As we were walking around, the baby is crying and crying, sounds real too! Malika looks up at me and says "it won't stop crying". I told her, maybe she should try nursing it. Really, I just wanted to see if she would. I think she thought it was a crazy idea, we both ended up laughing over it. But, I guess she thought it might help too, so she did "nurse" it. Then she yells out "it worked, she's not crying anymore."
After that, she was pretty smitten. But, she still had to put it back when we were done shopping. So, when we got to the cash register, I told her she had to put her down. She, of course didn't want to. When she finally did, she had this very sad look on her face, and kept looking back at the baby. I tried to explain that she would get a good mommy, but we just couldn't take her home. Made me want to cry.
So, now I wonder if she will have a heart to adopt when she grows up. I think she will.
It was one of those babies that cry, not my favorite, because it takes all the imagination out of playing. Malika loves it though. Anyway, this baby had a bottle that went with it, and usually it would cry until you put the bottle in it's mouth. As we were walking around, the baby is crying and crying, sounds real too! Malika looks up at me and says "it won't stop crying". I told her, maybe she should try nursing it. Really, I just wanted to see if she would. I think she thought it was a crazy idea, we both ended up laughing over it. But, I guess she thought it might help too, so she did "nurse" it. Then she yells out "it worked, she's not crying anymore."
After that, she was pretty smitten. But, she still had to put it back when we were done shopping. So, when we got to the cash register, I told her she had to put her down. She, of course didn't want to. When she finally did, she had this very sad look on her face, and kept looking back at the baby. I tried to explain that she would get a good mommy, but we just couldn't take her home. Made me want to cry.
So, now I wonder if she will have a heart to adopt when she grows up. I think she will.
Monday, September 13, 2010
1 month
Well, today has been 1 month since committing to adopt Priscilla. It feels like so long ago. It doesn't feel like we are any closer to getting her. But, I know she will be here before we know it.
The night we decided to adopt Priscilla, we went to eat at IHOP. A group of about 10 elderly people were in front of us waiting to be seated. I don't know their stories, or what they do everyday. But, watching them, is when I decided, I wanted my life to mean something. I had the hardest time getting through dinner without crying.
I had been living my little life, enjoying my husband and my children. Buying what I wanted, doing what I wanted. Pretty much, the american dream. But, when I get to heaven, will Jesus look at me and say "Well done, my good and faithful servant", or will He say "I was hungry and you didn't feed me, I needed a home and you didn't invite me in."
I don't want that life anymore. I don't want to just grow old. When I am old, I don't want to just hang out with my friends and talk about my grandkids and pass their pictures around. I don't want to talk about my latest ache or pain. I want LIFE.
If I have to sell everything I have and have nothing, in order to give all I can, then I will. I want my life to mean something. When I am old, I still want to adopt needy children, or be a foster grandma. If I cannot bring them into my home, then I will go and sit in an orphanage and hold those sweet babies.
Where we are now, is a start. Maybe we will never stop. But, THAT is living!
The night we decided to adopt Priscilla, we went to eat at IHOP. A group of about 10 elderly people were in front of us waiting to be seated. I don't know their stories, or what they do everyday. But, watching them, is when I decided, I wanted my life to mean something. I had the hardest time getting through dinner without crying.
I had been living my little life, enjoying my husband and my children. Buying what I wanted, doing what I wanted. Pretty much, the american dream. But, when I get to heaven, will Jesus look at me and say "Well done, my good and faithful servant", or will He say "I was hungry and you didn't feed me, I needed a home and you didn't invite me in."
I don't want that life anymore. I don't want to just grow old. When I am old, I don't want to just hang out with my friends and talk about my grandkids and pass their pictures around. I don't want to talk about my latest ache or pain. I want LIFE.
If I have to sell everything I have and have nothing, in order to give all I can, then I will. I want my life to mean something. When I am old, I still want to adopt needy children, or be a foster grandma. If I cannot bring them into my home, then I will go and sit in an orphanage and hold those sweet babies.
Where we are now, is a start. Maybe we will never stop. But, THAT is living!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
We had our first homestudy visit
Last thursday was our first homestudy visit. I think it went well. I really had no idea what to expect. We dressed up a little, even though Josh didn't want to. I'm not sure if it was really necessary or not, but growing up, my dad used to tell me, "First impressions are lasting ones".
We got up super early, to leave at 6 am. Our meeting was at 9, in Birmingham, so we had to drive. And we weren't sure if there would be any traffic, so wanted to have plenty of time.
Our social worker was really nice, I am so glad for that. It would be torture to work with someone who frowned all the time, or was just plain grumpy, but she was very happy.
She asked us very detailed questions about our life, and our marriage, and if we would be able to welcome a new child in. She asked how we problem solved in our marriage and when was the toughest time during our marriage. Luckily for us, the toughest time was in the beginning and got better after children. She said most people have more problems after children. I think it was the other way for us, because we both had to grow up a lot. Well, and maybe a little, cause I'm always too tired now to fight :)
I kept thinking the whole time, "I really hope we pass". I'm not sure if it is a pass or fail kind of thing though. We just tried to be as honest as we could. I was a little worried though, because we don't have the "perfect" marriage. Things were going real well, until we started this adoption process, then wow! It has been very hard. I really think it is an attack from the enemy. Even though I know that, it is still tough. This morning we had a fight over the silliest thing. I mean, at the time, it doesn't seem so silly. But in 10 years? Yeah, we won't even remember it.
Anyway, so our meeting only lasted 1 1/2 hours. A lot shorter than I expected. We are writing our autobiographies and answering several (very hard) questions about whether we think we will make good parents, are our families behind us, etc. Oh, and the best " how will we handle the dating years". What!!?? Dating? Who said anything about dating, we are just adopting a baby. I don't even want to think about that.
We will have our next meeting when we finish those things.
We got up super early, to leave at 6 am. Our meeting was at 9, in Birmingham, so we had to drive. And we weren't sure if there would be any traffic, so wanted to have plenty of time.
Our social worker was really nice, I am so glad for that. It would be torture to work with someone who frowned all the time, or was just plain grumpy, but she was very happy.
She asked us very detailed questions about our life, and our marriage, and if we would be able to welcome a new child in. She asked how we problem solved in our marriage and when was the toughest time during our marriage. Luckily for us, the toughest time was in the beginning and got better after children. She said most people have more problems after children. I think it was the other way for us, because we both had to grow up a lot. Well, and maybe a little, cause I'm always too tired now to fight :)
I kept thinking the whole time, "I really hope we pass". I'm not sure if it is a pass or fail kind of thing though. We just tried to be as honest as we could. I was a little worried though, because we don't have the "perfect" marriage. Things were going real well, until we started this adoption process, then wow! It has been very hard. I really think it is an attack from the enemy. Even though I know that, it is still tough. This morning we had a fight over the silliest thing. I mean, at the time, it doesn't seem so silly. But in 10 years? Yeah, we won't even remember it.
Anyway, so our meeting only lasted 1 1/2 hours. A lot shorter than I expected. We are writing our autobiographies and answering several (very hard) questions about whether we think we will make good parents, are our families behind us, etc. Oh, and the best " how will we handle the dating years". What!!?? Dating? Who said anything about dating, we are just adopting a baby. I don't even want to think about that.
We will have our next meeting when we finish those things.
Donations
I have set up a new chip in, I put the goal as $5000 and the end date for the end of this year. It would be wonderful to raise that much before then, but there isn't really any reason I set that number, other than just being hopeful.
I have changed the amount of money we have spent (in the lower right hand column) to the estimated money for the adoption. I have realized there is a little money going everywhere, from paying for postage, passports, getting things apostilled, etc. So, it would be more realistic for you to see the estimate of where the money will go.
Most of what we will end up paying seems to be when we are actually in country, and the plane tickets to get over there. So, if you want to donate and need a tax deduction, you can donate through Reece's Rainbow, by clicking on Priscilla's picture. Just be sure to write Priscilla for the Thumanns in the comments when donating that way, to be sure the money actually goes to us. All the money donated through that will only be given to us in the end, for when we are ready to travel.
Thank you so much for all the support that you give. Even if you can only give $5.00, that is still $5.00 closer to reaching our goal, so that still means a lot to me.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
My heart is sad today
I am feeling a little sad today, I can't really say why though. I look at Priscilla's time, it is already after 10 at night. She is probably sleeping now. Or is she awake? Did she have a good day? Did she play outside her crib? Or did she have to lay in her crib all day? Does she have someone who shows her love? All the many questions I have, that will go unanswered for now.
I know she is a real girl, but it is so hard to imagine her life. Many days I stare at her picture, and that is all I see, a picture. I am looking forward to seeing a smile on her face. Holding her and snuggling with her. Telling her how we have waited and prayed for her. Introducing her to her sister, who can't wait to meet her. All of the many things I look forward to doing, but will they actually happen?
Oh, the unknown. That is what kills me. I am trying to constantly put my thoughts and worries back into the hands of God. Only He is able. As a friend told me yesterday, no matter how hard we try to make things happen, only God truly can. I have to remind myself that, even more than I want her in a home with a mommy and daddy that love her, God wants it more.
A little while ago, I received an email about Priscilla's country. They might be doing a moratorium, I had to look up this word, since I didn't really know the meaning. It means a legal delay to fulfill an obligation. What does this really mean for me? It could mean that there will be a delay in the adoption process, and there is a time limit on the paperwork. Nothing can be more than 5 months old. So, will this affect me? I don't know, but it could affect many other adopting parents. And, of course, the children, who are waiting.
So, please pray for the officials in her country. Pray that they would be filled with compassion for the children. Pray that they would not even be able to sleep at night with the thought of these children spending their lives in an institution. Pray that they would desire to go and see the children, not just look at the paperwork. Pray that they would trust us to truly love the children, that we are not taking their heritage away, but giving them LIFE!
So much I cannot say on here, my heart is just heavy today.
I know she is a real girl, but it is so hard to imagine her life. Many days I stare at her picture, and that is all I see, a picture. I am looking forward to seeing a smile on her face. Holding her and snuggling with her. Telling her how we have waited and prayed for her. Introducing her to her sister, who can't wait to meet her. All of the many things I look forward to doing, but will they actually happen?
Oh, the unknown. That is what kills me. I am trying to constantly put my thoughts and worries back into the hands of God. Only He is able. As a friend told me yesterday, no matter how hard we try to make things happen, only God truly can. I have to remind myself that, even more than I want her in a home with a mommy and daddy that love her, God wants it more.
A little while ago, I received an email about Priscilla's country. They might be doing a moratorium, I had to look up this word, since I didn't really know the meaning. It means a legal delay to fulfill an obligation. What does this really mean for me? It could mean that there will be a delay in the adoption process, and there is a time limit on the paperwork. Nothing can be more than 5 months old. So, will this affect me? I don't know, but it could affect many other adopting parents. And, of course, the children, who are waiting.
So, please pray for the officials in her country. Pray that they would be filled with compassion for the children. Pray that they would not even be able to sleep at night with the thought of these children spending their lives in an institution. Pray that they would desire to go and see the children, not just look at the paperwork. Pray that they would trust us to truly love the children, that we are not taking their heritage away, but giving them LIFE!
So much I cannot say on here, my heart is just heavy today.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
My Day
I don't have anything new to write about the adoption. It is still in the early phase, so right now, we are working on just getting the homestudy done. Tomorrow is our first homestudy visit. We have to drive to Birmingham for it. We will do one more there, then they will come to our house.
We have been running around like crazy getting different documents ready, notarized, then sent or faxed.
So, I have been reading different blogs lately, and the ones that I love are the ones that have pictures. I don't have any new pictures of Priscilla, so I thought I would just post some pictures from my day.
This morning, the kids wanted to go outside right after breakfast, so we did, still in our pajamas.
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| Malika was sitting in this nursing her baby, by the time I got the camera, she said her baby was done. I tried to get her to re-inact it, but she said her baby wasn't hungry anymore. She is going to make a great mommy! |
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| Justus decided to look for something to eat. He eats everything. Even Mulch! |
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| Then, he does a little texting and driving, completely ignoring the new law. |
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| Later, my good friend, Courtney (with her two kids, Pierce and Love) comes over for a surprise visit. She is turning out to be like a sister to me. We talked about adoption, being Godly wives, and raising children. |
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| Little Love |
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Then, the kids played in the baby pool. They had a blast. I think Pierce is confirming Justus' idea that boys do definitely do things that are dangerous. |
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| It was a very fun day! |
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
This is from a blog that I have been following. I want to get the word out too, about Sasha, he needs a home so badly. So, if this speaks to your heart, please pray.
this is the blog it comes from:angel eyes
His Last Fall
This weekend I was driving on one of my favorite roads and noticing that some of the leaves were already starting to change to the slightest yellowish orange color. A reminder that summer is over and my favorite season is beginning. There is just something about fall that speaks to me. As I drove I thought about all the things I love about fall...spiced candles, warm apple crisp with vanilla ice cream, beautiful bright colors of red, green, orange, yellow, and brown, the crisp refreshing air after a long hot summer, jeans and sweatshirts paired with flip flops, apple cider, the smell of fall....and just with that thought, BAM....I was slapped upside the face with the thought of Sasha. Sasha is a three year old boy with Down Syndrome living in Zoya's old orphanage. The thought of him derailed my happy train and I found myself trying to put the train back on the tracks with no luck. The thought that came to me was that this could quite possibly be Sasha's last fall. You see, Sasha is three years old and will turn four on July 17th. Turning four years old in Sasha's country is no cause for celebration. In fact it is quite the opposite. Orphanages there are only allowed to keep children until they are four years old. In some rare instances children have been kept longer but it is not the norm and I definitely don't see that happening with Sasha. As sad as the orphanage conditions are, they are a safe haven compared to the institutions the children are sent to on or around their fourth birthday. So this fall could very well be Sasha's last if someone doesn't step forward to adopt him.
When we were there adopting Zoya we fell in love with him. During that time he had a committed family so we took some pictures and videos to share with them. Recently, his hopeful family had to let him go due to a serious and unexpected illness. My heart aches for this family and my heart aches for Sasha. While we were there Sasha tried so hard to get our attention and would constantly stick his skinny little arm through the bars of his wooden crib and wave like you've never seen anyone wave before. I'm talking waving like he was in a parade or something. He was quite the mischievous little guy as we constantly heard the caregivers yelling, "SASHA!" He always tried to come to the doorway when he was in his walker, he wanted so badly to be picked up and loved on and I wish I could have done that. His platinum blond duck fuzz hair was adorable with his bright blue eyes that seemed to be hanging on for something more that what he had. His eyes still haunt me. His eyes told a story that was not easy to hear. A story about a boy who wanted so badly to have a momma and daddy. Eyes that spoke of the loneliness, but still also spoke of the possibility for his story to have a happy ending. He was much skinnier than the other kids in Zoya's groupa and very very pale. During our second visit he had a cast on one of his legs and feet but I'm not sure why.
As I drove I felt God prompting me to do a blog post about Sasha. I said out loud in the solidarity of my car, "what difference will it make?" I then spoke some words in my heart that I am ashamed to admit. I said, nobody cares, people want to care but do they really care enough to drop everything and make a promise to save this child no matter the cost? (or one of the other 147 million orphans). I thought, if I do a post, people will read it and stop for a moment to think of him and maybe pray for him, but most will just move on with their day not giving him much more thought than the few minutes it took to read the blog (I'm guilty of this myself when others post about other children needing homes....let's face it sometimes it's easier to just forget that child's face because then it doesn't hurt us...we don't let it penetrate our hearts trying to protect ourselves). If only someone else could see Sasha how we saw him and see him for the gift that he is waiting to be to some family somewhere in this world. Nobody else CAN see him though. Not many other people know he even exists (besides his previous hopeful adoptive family who I know are praying that he find his forever family soon). I thought seriously God, if I post about Sasha you really think that will make a difference? When it comes to the orphan crisis, a suffocating feeling of defeat helplessness sneaks up on me when I least expect it. But then I got an email from another RR adoptive momma pointing me to THIS AMAZING BLOG and I think this email and this blog were God's kind way of slapping me upside the head and saying, "Stop your pity party and realize you ARE making a difference....you are being a voice for the voiceless and encouraging others to embark on their own adoption journey...just by writing and sharing you ARE witnessing to others as I've asked you to." The Archer family has joined the orphan army and committed to adopt a little girl with DS from Eastern Europe. Another one saved! What does this have to do with me? I didn't think much until I read the blog. You will have to read for yourself to see (read 'The Red Thread Part 2' specifically). In just a few emails I had an impact on another family who ultimately decided to save a child's life. Am I trying to toot my own horn? Absolutely not, I'm trying to convince and remind myself of what God is trying to show me...that even if I'm only a pebble in a pond, I can still make a ripple. Even if I'm only one domino, I can be the domino that causes another one to fall, and so on and so forth.
I know God has a plan for Sasha, but we are human and we aren't always open to hearing God's plan. I know his previous committed family feels God has a plan for him as well....and as difficult as it is for them, I know that they hope and believe God will reveal Sasha to his forever family. Recently I learned that there are a lot more people reading this blog than I had thought. Am I speaking to Sasha's momma? His daddy? Please hear my plea on behalf of this sweet boy's life. Please, even if you are not Sasha's family, join me in the fight to find his forever family. Pray for him, donate to his grant fun (which is already at $4,000!! woah), pass along his profile to anyone you know that is interested in adoption. Be his voice with me. I have some videos and photos of Sasha if you are interested please email me privately (spbasile at hotmail dot com).
(photo taken recently in May)
When we were there adopting Zoya we fell in love with him. During that time he had a committed family so we took some pictures and videos to share with them. Recently, his hopeful family had to let him go due to a serious and unexpected illness. My heart aches for this family and my heart aches for Sasha. While we were there Sasha tried so hard to get our attention and would constantly stick his skinny little arm through the bars of his wooden crib and wave like you've never seen anyone wave before. I'm talking waving like he was in a parade or something. He was quite the mischievous little guy as we constantly heard the caregivers yelling, "SASHA!" He always tried to come to the doorway when he was in his walker, he wanted so badly to be picked up and loved on and I wish I could have done that. His platinum blond duck fuzz hair was adorable with his bright blue eyes that seemed to be hanging on for something more that what he had. His eyes still haunt me. His eyes told a story that was not easy to hear. A story about a boy who wanted so badly to have a momma and daddy. Eyes that spoke of the loneliness, but still also spoke of the possibility for his story to have a happy ending. He was much skinnier than the other kids in Zoya's groupa and very very pale. During our second visit he had a cast on one of his legs and feet but I'm not sure why.
As I drove I felt God prompting me to do a blog post about Sasha. I said out loud in the solidarity of my car, "what difference will it make?" I then spoke some words in my heart that I am ashamed to admit. I said, nobody cares, people want to care but do they really care enough to drop everything and make a promise to save this child no matter the cost? (or one of the other 147 million orphans). I thought, if I do a post, people will read it and stop for a moment to think of him and maybe pray for him, but most will just move on with their day not giving him much more thought than the few minutes it took to read the blog (I'm guilty of this myself when others post about other children needing homes....let's face it sometimes it's easier to just forget that child's face because then it doesn't hurt us...we don't let it penetrate our hearts trying to protect ourselves). If only someone else could see Sasha how we saw him and see him for the gift that he is waiting to be to some family somewhere in this world. Nobody else CAN see him though. Not many other people know he even exists (besides his previous hopeful adoptive family who I know are praying that he find his forever family soon). I thought seriously God, if I post about Sasha you really think that will make a difference? When it comes to the orphan crisis, a suffocating feeling of defeat helplessness sneaks up on me when I least expect it. But then I got an email from another RR adoptive momma pointing me to THIS AMAZING BLOG and I think this email and this blog were God's kind way of slapping me upside the head and saying, "Stop your pity party and realize you ARE making a difference....you are being a voice for the voiceless and encouraging others to embark on their own adoption journey...just by writing and sharing you ARE witnessing to others as I've asked you to." The Archer family has joined the orphan army and committed to adopt a little girl with DS from Eastern Europe. Another one saved! What does this have to do with me? I didn't think much until I read the blog. You will have to read for yourself to see (read 'The Red Thread Part 2' specifically). In just a few emails I had an impact on another family who ultimately decided to save a child's life. Am I trying to toot my own horn? Absolutely not, I'm trying to convince and remind myself of what God is trying to show me...that even if I'm only a pebble in a pond, I can still make a ripple. Even if I'm only one domino, I can be the domino that causes another one to fall, and so on and so forth.
I know God has a plan for Sasha, but we are human and we aren't always open to hearing God's plan. I know his previous committed family feels God has a plan for him as well....and as difficult as it is for them, I know that they hope and believe God will reveal Sasha to his forever family. Recently I learned that there are a lot more people reading this blog than I had thought. Am I speaking to Sasha's momma? His daddy? Please hear my plea on behalf of this sweet boy's life. Please, even if you are not Sasha's family, join me in the fight to find his forever family. Pray for him, donate to his grant fun (which is already at $4,000!! woah), pass along his profile to anyone you know that is interested in adoption. Be his voice with me. I have some videos and photos of Sasha if you are interested please email me privately (spbasile at hotmail dot com).
Is Sasha your son?
(photo taken recently in May)Monday, September 6, 2010
Understanding The Cost
This is Josh writing...
Some have questioned our decision to adopt a child with a special need. As I wrote before, our belief is that this is the very heart of God.
We want everyone to know that we understand most of what we’re getting into. We understand that a child with special needs will need special care. We understand that there is the potential need for speech therapy. We understand that this little girl may need care all of her adult life. When we say that we understand most of what we’re getting into, we understand that she may have additional needs that we simply cannot foresee. However, we maintain our belief that this is the the heart of God and our hearts are aligned with His in this matter.
Some have questioned our decision to adopt a child with a special need. As I wrote before, our belief is that this is the very heart of God.
We want everyone to know that we understand most of what we’re getting into. We understand that a child with special needs will need special care. We understand that there is the potential need for speech therapy. We understand that this little girl may need care all of her adult life. When we say that we understand most of what we’re getting into, we understand that she may have additional needs that we simply cannot foresee. However, we maintain our belief that this is the the heart of God and our hearts are aligned with His in this matter.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
God is faithful to provide
I am so encouraged today. I was starting to get a little discouraged because we haven't had many people donate money. And everywhere I would turn to do a fundraiser, I would hit roadblocks.
I have been continually going back to the Lord, and He has been showing me HE IS FAITHFUl, even though I haven't seen much.
Yesterday, and for about the last week, we have only had $135 donated. Today, we now have $2585. I am so amazed. I really needed this. Now, I feel like this is really real. It is really going to happen.
Thank you so much to my friends who have donated. I will forever be grateful to you.
On another note, we ended up starting our dossier (all the legal paperwork sent to Priscilla's country) yesterday. Well, kind of. We had a packet of documents to notarize. We loaded the kids up and went to the bank. Halfway through the process, I read back through the checklist and it is very particular about the way it is notarized and I realize all but one is incorrect. So, we will have to go back on tuesday when the bank opens. Oh well, I'm not too discouraged about it, after reading many other stories of people adopting, I knew we would have roadblocks all along the way.
I have been continually going back to the Lord, and He has been showing me HE IS FAITHFUl, even though I haven't seen much.
Yesterday, and for about the last week, we have only had $135 donated. Today, we now have $2585. I am so amazed. I really needed this. Now, I feel like this is really real. It is really going to happen.
Thank you so much to my friends who have donated. I will forever be grateful to you.
On another note, we ended up starting our dossier (all the legal paperwork sent to Priscilla's country) yesterday. Well, kind of. We had a packet of documents to notarize. We loaded the kids up and went to the bank. Halfway through the process, I read back through the checklist and it is very particular about the way it is notarized and I realize all but one is incorrect. So, we will have to go back on tuesday when the bank opens. Oh well, I'm not too discouraged about it, after reading many other stories of people adopting, I knew we would have roadblocks all along the way.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Is it cheaper?
I think all of my cheapness lately is rubbing off on Malika.
Yesterday, we went to play at a friends house, and while we were there, Malika had an accident. We had to borrow clothes for her to wear, since I didn't bring any extra. So, on the way home she says, "Is it cheaper to wear these clothes to bed?" I had to ask her twice, because I've never heard her say cheaper. I don't think she understands fully what it means, or maybe she does and she is trying to save a few cents from having to do extra laundry if she wore her pajamas.
Yesterday, we went to play at a friends house, and while we were there, Malika had an accident. We had to borrow clothes for her to wear, since I didn't bring any extra. So, on the way home she says, "Is it cheaper to wear these clothes to bed?" I had to ask her twice, because I've never heard her say cheaper. I don't think she understands fully what it means, or maybe she does and she is trying to save a few cents from having to do extra laundry if she wore her pajamas.
She needs a home too
Look at this sweet face!
This little girl has captured my heart. I wish I could take her too. She is also from Reece's Rainbow. Pass this on, maybe someone will want to adopt her. She is in need of a home soon, she is almost 3.
This is what is said about her :
This is what is said about her :
1ccqw-15Maria F.Brothers and sisters noDate of Birth: September 17, 2007Gender: FemaleEyes: BrownHair: brownNature: cheerful, helpful, social
This muffin has a caregiver who loves her dearly. When they learned of the possibility of finding a family for her, they were so happy and offered the following info about her: "Maria is very friendly and in her group she helps the caregiver to give the food to children, like they give her cookies, for instance, and say please put to everybody and she does it. If she has one cookie she would divide it into pieces to give to all the people around."
From our facilitator: Maria was born from a socially strong family, the both parents were highly educated, not too young, they were in registered marriage. The parents were just not able to overcome the fact of appearance of a child with DS. Maria has also had heart problems, and she has had a surgery, which has solved them. Now she is functioning well. Also she has had problems with intestinal tract and she has had the surgery, which was also successful. she is on this page
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Peace of God
Things have been very difficult for me lately. It is sooo much more work than I expected to adopt, and probably more to come. :)
Some days I wonder what in the world have we gotten ourselves into. We wouldn't change it for the world, though. We want to adopt Priscilla and we want her as our daughter, so it is not that end of things, it is just the headache to get there.
There are so many documents to go through and what has really messed me up the last few days, is that we have to have everything finished within a certain date, if it expires, Priscilla's country would not accept it. Which wouldn't normally be a problem, but they will stop accepting the documents for a certain amount of time. So, do I work real hard to try to get it in before they stop and risk it not getting done in time and have to start over, not to mention losing money along the way. Or, do we wait a couple months to start the process. Aghh!
We have decided to wait a little bit before starting that process, of course, there are still things to be done, we are still working on our homestudy. Which doesn't seem quite as difficult, yet still time consuming. And, on top of that, I have children to care for, a house to keep clean, a husband to love, toilets to clean, diapers to change, need I go on? And then what about fundraising. Oh, how I wish we just had all the money in the world, it would make things so much easier.
Some would say, maybe that is a sign that we are not to go on. But, we Know without a doubt this is God's will. God has a heart for the orphans and He is all about adoption.
This brings me back to my post title, Peace of God. My good friend, Courtney, called me this morning and read a scripture to me, Phillipians 4:4-7. It has spoken to me in so many ways. I have been crying since then, I have just been hit with the Lord's faithfulness. He is my Peace, he is my provision.
I will write another post in a while and say what I got from the verses. The kids are needing me :)
Some days I wonder what in the world have we gotten ourselves into. We wouldn't change it for the world, though. We want to adopt Priscilla and we want her as our daughter, so it is not that end of things, it is just the headache to get there.
There are so many documents to go through and what has really messed me up the last few days, is that we have to have everything finished within a certain date, if it expires, Priscilla's country would not accept it. Which wouldn't normally be a problem, but they will stop accepting the documents for a certain amount of time. So, do I work real hard to try to get it in before they stop and risk it not getting done in time and have to start over, not to mention losing money along the way. Or, do we wait a couple months to start the process. Aghh!
We have decided to wait a little bit before starting that process, of course, there are still things to be done, we are still working on our homestudy. Which doesn't seem quite as difficult, yet still time consuming. And, on top of that, I have children to care for, a house to keep clean, a husband to love, toilets to clean, diapers to change, need I go on? And then what about fundraising. Oh, how I wish we just had all the money in the world, it would make things so much easier.
Some would say, maybe that is a sign that we are not to go on. But, we Know without a doubt this is God's will. God has a heart for the orphans and He is all about adoption.
This brings me back to my post title, Peace of God. My good friend, Courtney, called me this morning and read a scripture to me, Phillipians 4:4-7. It has spoken to me in so many ways. I have been crying since then, I have just been hit with the Lord's faithfulness. He is my Peace, he is my provision.
I will write another post in a while and say what I got from the verses. The kids are needing me :)
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